Vol. 7, No. 2• May 2003

Book Review: When A Stranger Calls You Mom

by Becky Burmester

When a Stranger Calls You Mom is the catchy title of a new book by Katherine Leslie. The author’s impressive list of credentials include a doctorate in developmental psychology from North Carolina State University and years of experience as a foster and adoptive parent.

This kind of “in the trenches” experience gets the attention of foster and adoptive parents. We know that it is one thing to “talk the talk” and another to “walk the walk.” Many times we receive advice from childless experts or experts parenting only birth children, and we know that the children we are parenting present us with unique challenges and needs.

When a Stranger Calls You Mom contains some fascinating information about brain development in young children and what happens as a result of abuse and neglect. However, the real clue to Dr. Leslie’s presentation of the information lies in the book’s subtitle, “A Child Development and Relationship Perspective on Why Traumatized Children Think, Feel, and Act the Way They Do.” Yes, this book is somewhat akin to reading a textbook. The good news is that it is a brief one (144 pages), and there is some great information included.

In my typical fashion, I plowed straight through When a Stranger Calls You Mom, from Dedication to After Word. However, I know that many of the foster/adoptive parents I interact with lack time and energy for extra tasks. Some are so pressed that they sometimes even read the last several pages of a book first so they can assess whether it is worth reading the whole thing.

If you use this technique, I would recommend that you begin with the Afterword, Preface, and Introduction and then “Parenting from the Trenches” and “Advice to Yet-to-Be Birth Parents.” Not only will this will show you what the book has to offer, it will whet your appetite so that you will gladly tackle the entire book, from the beginning.

Dr. Leslie has a website, <www.brandnewdayconsulting. com> that provides information on ordering the book and about workshops she offers.

This column appears in each issue of Fostering Perspectives and I am always interested in books that you think would be interesting and helpful to foster parents.

We are better foster parents as we continue to learn new skills. Please share your suggestions with me so that others may become better foster parents. You can contact me with questions or suggestions at <[email protected]> or 919/870-9968.

Becky Burmester is a foster parent and a member of the North Carolina Foster Parents Association

Copyright � 2003 Jordan Institute for Families