Vol. 5, No. 2 • May 2001

A sense of self is a priceless gift
by Becky Burmester

Most of us have heard the term "life book." Some of us even know what one is. But we have a much harder time making a life book for a child in our care. What should we include? How can we get started? Is it really worth the effort?

I have been muddling along doing life books for the children we've cared for over the last 14 years. It has been a case of on-the-job training. The process has greatly improved since my early stack of pictures, accompanied by notes written in a spiral binder.

Recently I encountered two books that make the process of creating life books, as well as their importance, crystal clear. They are LifeBooks: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child ($13.95) and My Foster Care Journey ($9.95), both by Beth O'Malley.

When she writes about life books, O'Malley speaks from firsthand experience. As an adopted child, former social worker, and passionate advocate for life books, she testifies that a life book can be "the best gift in the world" as well as a "security blanket, a concrete tool, and a medium for one complete personal history." A life book, she says, "is a unique opportunity to honor every minute of a child's life."

I wholeheartedly agree. As I have talked with young adults and older adoptees, I have come to realize the void in their lives. Imagine being 38 years old and having no pictures of yourself before age 8, when you were adopted. Imagine being in your early 20's and having no family history. Many children in foster care have no sense of their past or their present. No pictures of family, no collection of school papers, no tangible proof of the importance of their lives. A life book says "you are important and all of your life matters."

Life Books: Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child is filled with reasons for creating a life book and pages of examples and suggestions. My Foster Care Journey provides a fill-in-the-blank life book format with room for artwork and pictures. This book fills in the missing pieces in a child's life. Life books are important and these two resources will get you started.

Beth O'Malley provides the guidance necessary for foster parents, adoptive parents, and social workers to give children something they will treasure forever.

A life book does take time to pull together, but a sense of self is a priceless gift for anyone.

I can be reached on-line at <becky [email protected]> or by phone at 919/870-9968. For the next issue of Fostering Perspectives (due out in November 2001), I plan to review children's books about foster care. Please share your favorite titles with me.

Becky Burmester is a foster parent and a member of the North Carolina Foster Parent Association.

 

Copyright � 2001 Jordan Institute for Families