Vol. 1, No. 2 • Summer 1997
Parenting Children with Special Needs: A Foster Parent's Perspective
by Phyllis Hoffman
As foster parents, we are in a unique and often difficult position. We have 100 percent responsibility for the day-to-day raising of our foster child, but only about 10 percent of the major decision-making responsibility for that child.
Even if we feel we can be responsible and make appropriate decisions, we are not always sure we have the power to do so, or if it is our role. So many professionals are involved in our foster child's life (and our life)--social workers, supervisors, guardians--that it is often not clear who should take responsibility. This leads to confusion, delays, and, sometimes, lack of action. Clarifying the roles of each person involved in the child's life is a helpful and necessary step in obtaining services for a child in your care.Help is available through Division of Social Services, the Department of Public Instruction, and the Division of Mental Health. However, even for professionals, these services systems are often confusing. Clarifying roles and then getting help from your social worker(s) will enable you to seek out and obtain appropriate services.
Once the system is understood, three barriers may still interfere with a foster parent's ability to communicate effectively with professionals or service providers:
When obtaining special education service, an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) is written. Parent input is critical and required. However, in some places neither social workers or foster parents are allowed to sign off on the IEP, since a conflict of interest may arise due to the fact that they are both financially compensated for their services to the child. In these cases, a surrogate parent is assigned. Hopefully, the surrogate parent will defer to the knowledgeable parties (parent and social worker) when the IEP is written. However, a foster parent may be intimidated under these circumstances and not speak up as desired or needed. Foster parents who wish to fully represent their child should consider foster parent advocacy training.
Foster parents are asked to maintain confidentiality. It is not always clear how much we can share with other people, professionals, or friends. I am often unsure if I can even mention that the child in my care is a foster child, let alone the nitty-gritty details of his development. How much is confidential and who needs and is allowed to know this or that piece of information is unclear to me. Therefore, I am often in a bind when it comes to sharing information--something that can be a significant barrier when seeking out and obtaining special services.
A fear of being judged as an inadequate parent is one last barrier which can interfere with obtaining special services. Parents often take on blame when their child is not perfect. In the case of foster parents, this guilt or blame may affect parents' ability to care for the child placed in their home.
In summary, barriers exist to recognizing special needs and then obtaining services for foster children to meet their needs. Foster parents can overcome these barriers with knowledge of the services systems, child development, advocacy training, and good communication with social workers.
Phyllis Hoffman is a foster parent in Orange County, North Carolina.
Copyright � 2000 Jordan Institute for Families
