Vol. 11, No. 2 • May 2007

Reading This and That

A Review of Foster Care and Adoption-Related Books

by Becky Burmester

I’ve been reading. No surprise there! But, what I’ve been reading is not the usual stuff. My husband and I are long-time foster parents (over 22 years), but relative newcomers as adoptive parents (3 years). We never planned to adopt, but along the way two wonderful youngsters spent more than a year in our home and became ours to love forever. These great kids are African-American with forever parents who are Caucasian. Additionally Joe and I felt called to care for teens who are pregnant and/or parenting. Our parenting skills required updating to allow us to better meet the needs of the children sharing our home (permanently or temporarily).

Do You Have What It Takes?
If you foster teens, I think you’ll find Do You Have What It Takes? A Comprehensive Guide to Success After Foster Care a must read. Published by Youth Communications, this book is dedicated to the 25,000 young adults who age out of care annually. It is a multi-level book designed for use by individual teens, groups of teens, individual adults working with teens, and groups of adults working with teens. Each chapter has an activity page for group leaders and a worksheet for teens. The “been there, done that” articles in each chapter were written by young people who have been in foster care. As foster parents to youngsters who have since aged out, we recognized many of the difficulties our kids struggle with still. But, as parents (birth, foster, or adoptive) our talk about these issues was as effective as spitting into a strong wind.

If you work with teens and don’t wish to purchase this book, ask your public library to add it to the collection. Every LINKS coordinator should own a copy of this book, as should every social worker working with independent living skills. The purchase price of Do You Have What It Takes? is an impressive $35. The price is justified, however—there's no filler in this volume. Every article and work sheet educates the reader.

Adoption Parenting
Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections, edited by Jean MacLeod and Sheena Macrae, PhD, is another book I highly recommend. 

This book is written by those living their lives as adoptive parents. Topics covered include  sleep, language, food, baggage, discipline, loss and grief, transitions, siblings, learning, school, race, older child adoption, challenges, support, and therapy. Each topic is addressed by more than a single contributor.  Some contributors have entries in several chapters.  More than 100 people contributed articles to this book. 

Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections is the result of three years of work.  I wish I could honestly say that I've read every page of this great reference book.  Sadly, activities of daily living have infringed upon my reading time (preschoolers and infants have a way of doing that!). 

I have read specific sections of the book that I felt would improve my parenting of my adopted children.  The chapter dealing with transracial adoption was right on target.  The chapter on support with articles on "Sandwich Parenting" and "Older Parent Toolkit" provided a fresh perspective and some great ideas for managing those cross-many-generational-lines visits with older grandparents. 

Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections is available at $29.95.  The book is published by EMK Press and should be available from your local bookseller. As a book lover, I think everyone should own this book.  If cost is an obstacle, ask your public library to order the book.  Adoption social workers, MAPP trainers, and adoption support groups with lending libraries should all have this book as part of their toolbox.

I will be lucky enough to attend the upcoming National Foster Parent Association annual conference. I expect to return with many more resources to recommend to you.

If you have a resource you’d highly recommend, please contact me (919/870-9968, [email protected]).

Remember, keep reading!

Copyright � 2007 Jordan Institute for Families