Vol. 12, No. 2 • June 2008

Books on the Nightstand
Book Reviews
by Becky Burmester

I’m still reading but at the moment I am concentrating on hair (more specifically the African-American hair on the heads of my children) and children’s self-esteem issues. Rita is 5 years old and Shawn is seven. Neither one care about the color of their hair but they definitely have ideas about how they want their hair to look. Quite honestly they want “white” hair. Shawn wants bangs and his God-given hair is totally unsuited for bangs. Rita would like her hair either in a pony tail or long and swinging and her hair is like her brother’s, kinky. What’s a parent (cross-cultural parent) to do? I hit the bookshelves and the bookstores with a vengeance.

No Lye
First off my bookshelf was No Lye! by Tulani Kinard. I have owned this book for years. I bought it on the advice of a cross-cultural (white) mom who had found it helpful. The book was the tipping point in favor of locking her daughter’s hair. The results were attractive and the child who struggled with sensory integration issues was less stressed when her hair was lower maintenance. I reread large sections and admired the gorgeous pictures and decided to seek more help. No Lye! has excellent information about the care and styling of black hair for those seeking to go natural. My black friends borrowed the book and said it was great.

But, I was uncomfortable with how adult the styles in the book were. The how to of shampooing, conditioning, drying, and combing were covered thoroughly. But this all-thumbs mom needed more help.

Wavy, Curly, Kinky
Wavy, Curly, Kinky by Deborah R. Lilly seemed promising with its cover photo of child and adult and a blurb that promised “hundreds of care tips, techniques and styles for newborns to teens.” This is a book to share with your children. The book is divided into sections by age group and sex. There are lots of pictures for both parent and child to consider.

And, how are my children wearing their hair? Rita is wearing her hair primarily in braids, with mom putting it into twists when we can’t get a time with the friend that braids it for us. Rita still wishes that she could wear her hair down, but she likes the compliments she gets when it is braided. Shawn is wearing his hair pretty short after trying to grow it longer. He has some sensory integration issues and found combing out his longer hair painful and his parents refused to let him go out with matted hair. His hair is short but his head is not shaved and for now that is our compromise.

You Be Me I’ll Be You
Hair down and self-esteem to go! You Be Me I’ll Be You by Pili Mandelbaum is a delightful picture book addressing the issues of differences in hair and skin across racial lines. Most of the time our two children are inclined to want our skin to be brown like theirs. This book is a discussion starter for the issue of accepting and liking who you are.

Loved Best
Loved Best by Patricia C. McKissack is a chapter book that we have just begun reading as a family. Carolyn is the oldest of three children and as the story begins she is positive she is loved best because she is the oldest. The chapters are brief but the message of loving all children in a family is highlighted in each chapter. The illustrations by Felicia Marshall are lovely black and white drawings. This book is brief enough to be read at a single sitting, but we are reading two chapters nightly to extend the time we spend talking about loving each other as individuals and not loving one person more than another.

What’s on your nightstand? Please share titles of books that you enjoy and that make the life of a foster or adoptive parent easier. Becky Burmester 919-870-9968 or [email protected]

Copyright � 2008 Jordan Institute for Families