Vol. 9, No. 1• November 2004

My Life as a Single Foster and Adoptive Father

by Ken Battle

I first became a single father back in 1998. There was this young kid that was having such a hard time in the school where I worked as a School Resource Deputy. The relationship grew from there. This kid was not through the department of social services. Back during this time, before the laws changed, once kids turned 16 they could decide where they wanted to live. So my relationship with this child grew stronger and stronger.

He started doing well in school and had a purpose about himself. Once this child turned that golden age of 16, he made the choice of living with me. He’s been with me ever since.

Confident that I had the skill and the know-how to help children in need, I decided to become a foster parent. I first started fostering children as a single black male while living in Wilmington, North Carolina. The first child that I fostered was around 16 years of age. He was a handful. At first I wondered what had I gotten myself into, but I continued on.

Then I started seeking out other children available for adoption. That’s when I found Justin, a 12-year-old out of Asheville, North Carolina. It was a great match. Justin fit the profile of the kind of child I was looking for, and my family fit the profile of what he was looking for—he wanted an older brother and a dad that was a cop, and here I was, a cop with an older son. This relationship went very well and Justin was adopted through DSS out of Durham County.

Durham County DSS then introduced me to Derrick. He was a 15-year-old who had had several let downs during foster placements that were supposed to turn into adoptions. Derrick came to live with my family it worked very well. On January 29, 2004, he too was adopted and changed his name to Kenneth Anthony Battle, III. He is a great kid with a loving heart. I sometimes have to remind him that I’m the dad, but I chalk it up, as he is scared of losing me.

I still continue to foster for Durham County. I seem to get the kids that no one else wants or can’t handle. My goal in life is to help people, and helping children in need is greatly rewarding. Yes, it is hard sometimes to make ends meet and to juggle your schedule, but we make it work.

Being a single father, I can say that I don’t live the normal life of a single male. I make sacrifices that other men won’t make. I always put myself last. I very rarely date. I feel that spending time with my boys is more important than me hanging out. We do everything as a family, one unit, together. Family life is and should be important when dealing with foster and adoptive kids. You’ve got to remember that this is what they have been missing for so long. I keep my kids involved in church and the community. I teach them that we must give back to the world. This helps them to visualize some of the situations they came from and how people once helped them. I help them remember that they are a part of a family now, which is what a lot of kids are wishing for.

I enjoy being a foster and adoptive parent. And as for those who have doubts about whether a single black male can step up to the plate and take care of kids by himself and do it right, then I invite you to meet the Battle Family.

In addition to being a foster and adoptive parent, Ken Battle is a probation officer, a full-time minister, and public speaker. He and his family live in Raleigh.

Copyright © 2004 Jordan Institute for Families