Vol. 2, No. 2 • Spring 1998

Dealing with Cultural Differences
by John McMahon

Consider the following fictional case example: Terry-Ann feels like she is in over her head. Up until now she has successfully dealt with all the things being a foster parent has thrown her way: infants and teens, cholic and limit-testing, red tape and long, long hours. But Robert, the 15-year-old African American boy just placed in her home, is making her think again.

Like most of the kids, he misses his family and the way they do things at his house. In addition, Robert is Muslim. He has no interest in attending her church, and he can't eat ham on Sunday or any other kind of pork. Even her green beans are off limits because she prepares them using a little porkfat, just like she always has.

The fact that Robert is African American and Terry-Ann is white just seems to put that much more distance between them. She has called his social worker, but he wasn't much help--he knew even less about Islam than Terry-Ann.

Robert had been in her house for two weeks and things are not going well. What can she do to make him more at home?

Terry-Ann, like all foster parents, has a tough job. She takes displaced, sometimes troubled children into her home and nurtures them, tries to restore some degree of normalcy to their disrupted lives. When she and her foster children are from different racial, cultural, or ethnic backgrounds, this job can be even tougher.

Yet in the years ahead, this will happen with greater frequency to foster parents in North Carolina. Already our state has been ranked 18th in the nation in terms of the diversity of its inhabitants, and our booming economy and favorable climate will continue to attract immigrant from many different cultures and parts of the world. Inevitably, some of the children in these families will enter foster care.

And when a child of a different background than yourself is placed in your home, you will ask, as Terry-Ann is asking, "What can I do to help these kids feel respected and accepted in my home? What can I do to help raise stable, happy, healthy individuals with a strong sense of their racial and cultural identity?"

Becoming "Culturally Competent"
One answer to this question is to develop your "cultural competence." Simply defined, your cultural competence is your ability to understand and work with people from different backgrounds.

To some extent, everyone is culturally competent, because at some point everyone has met, learned about, and gotten along with someone of a race, religion, or country different from themselves. But everyone also has ignorance, biases, and prejudices when it comes to dealing with those who are different. To be culturally competent is to know where your understanding ends and your ignorance begins, and to be committed to learning about and respecting differences in others.

To improve your ability to work with your foster children, consider the following:

Examine your beliefs and attitudes about race and ethnicity. Understand that we all have biases, although we do not always recognize them as biases because they have been ingrained in us over many years. For example, you many have grown up around people who used the expression "Indian giver," without ever realizing that this expression promotes a negative stereotype of Native Americans. Don't let guilt or embarrassment about these biases prevent you from exploring these stereotypes, in order to be rid of them.

Make an effort to learn more about other cultures and people. Asking questions in a respectful manner is a key element in being culturally competent. To be meaningful, this learning must be done in a spirit of respect and increased appreciation. Reading, watching movies, and visiting libraries, places of worship, and cultural fairs or festivals are just a few of the ways you can learn about and gain insight into a group.

Remember, too, that diversity exists within each cultural group (for example, not all Native Americans think the same way). If we recognize diversity among races, we must also recognize diversity within groups. This will help avoid stereotyping.

Talk with your children about race and culture. Although fairness is important, it is important to acknowledge the cultures and histories that make each of use unique. "Treating everyone the same" and minimizing differences is not the same as being culturally competent. While communicating the message that differences are enriching, make a point of similarities, too. You might say, "Yes, Daddy's skin is darker than yours, but you both like meatloaf, and you both like watching football."

It is also important to discuss the past and current realities of racism in the United States with the children in your home. Acknowledge that racism has shaped our culture in very negative ways, creating barriers of mistrust and misunderstanding. Make it okay for your foster children to tell you about their experiences, even if they are difficult to hear about.

Resource: Smith, D.G. (1995). Transracial and transcultural adoption. National Advocate, 2(3), 5-10.

Copyright � 2000 Jordan Institute for Families