Vol. 2, No. 1 • Fall 1997

Talking to Kids About
Drugs and Alcohol
by Smith Worth

Many parents hesitate to discuss alcohol and
other drug use with their child. Some believe
that their child would never involve
themselves with substances. Other parents put off
talking with their child because they do not know what to say or how to say it. Additionally, there are those who are silent because they believe that talking about the subject will put the idea of using substances into a child's head.

Research confirms the important role of parents. Numerous studies indicate that parental attitudes and practices related to drinking and drug use are the strongest social influence on children. Interaction between parent and child has also been found to be key in predicting adolescent initiation into alcohol and other drug use.

Here are some basic hints for improving your ability to talk with your child about alcohol and other drugs:

1. Examine your own history of alcohol and drug use (including prescription medications).Children learn from what their parents do.
2. Listen to your child.
3. Give clear messages. Important messages need to be repeated to exceed the "threshold of deafness" that sometimes exists when children are too involved in what they are doing to really take in what is going on.
4. Educate yourself on this subject. It is important that you learn as much as you can about substance use, abuse, and dependency. You need to become familiar with its progression as well as its signs and symptoms. This is the best protection against falling into the kind of denial that can do damage to you and your family.
   You cannot guarantee that your child will not use alcohol and other drugs. However, you can do many things to help your child make good choices:

• Focus on activities that increase your child's self-esteem. Teach your child how to make decisions and solve problems. Kids who feel good about themselves are more likely to think for themselves.

• Encourage healthy activities such as sports, hobbies, or youth groups.

• Talk to them about alcohol and other drugs. If you suspect your child is drinking alcohol or using drugs, learn all you can about the subject and talk honestly and calmly with your child.

• Get to know the parents of your child's friends in order to establish communication and support.

In closing, remember that all families can expect some difficulties. It can be hard for family members to express their honest feelings to each other. Just getting them to say something to each other they haven't said before can be a huge milestone. One way to get a head start is by learning new communication skills together! Communication has two parts: listening and talking. To help you and your child communicate, listen carefully and speak respectfully.

Smith Worth is a Clinical Instructor and Certified Substance Abuse Counselor with the Jordan Institute for Families, part of the School of Social Work at UNC-Chapel Hill.

Copyright � 2000 Jordan Institute for Families